


Love in Ten Ways

by GoldenBadWolf



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Ficlet Collection, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, I Love You, Light Angst, Season/Series 01, Smut, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-06-30 00:39:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19841905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenBadWolf/pseuds/GoldenBadWolf
Summary: Ten times the Doctor tells Rose Tyler he loves her.





	1. Wrapped Up

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while (six years) since I wrote a whofic! I was inspired by FoundlingSuggestion's "Ten Ways to Say I Love You" Post on tumblr and ended up with this. Enjoy!
> 
> Find me on tumblr: GoldenBadWolf

_Post: The Unquiet Dead_

_"Wrapped up in a question. You know you can tell me anything, right? Hows your day been, have you eaten?"_

* * *

He hadn’t planned on taking her on a second near-death experience. Quite the opposite, rather. He planned on letting her see winter before electronic lights blackened a bright and cool starry sky. Maybe taking her to a play. Just something laid-back.  
Instead he found himself struggling to cover his panic. Gripping her hand tighter than she was gripping his. Terrified of losing his newfound hope, light, and whatever other optimistic symbol she could possibly be.  
He tried as hard as possible to lighten her mood as they settled back into the void. She only gave him a half-hearted grin at his terrible jokes and excused herself to change into something more comfortable. It had been a long while since then. Long enough to where he was tinkering under the console and feeling guilty over all he had drug her through recently. They’ve yet to have a smooth trip. Not that it ever happened for him. He hoped it would at least happen for Rose.

The Doctor stood up from under the grating. Smoothing his jacket absentmindedly as he thought of all the places Rose could be. Rather than keeping him there over-analyzing, The TARDIS nudged him towards her room. And a jolt of anxiety sliced through him.  
He began to think of what he would say as he walked along the dimmed halls toward her. Trying to find the best phrase that didn’t make him seem… oh, he didn’t know. Overbearing, perhaps? Clingy? Scared?

So, he found himself outside of her bedroom door, shaking his head with his hand hovering over the doorknob.

He should do this. He needs to. He brought along someone who hadn’t seen more than just outside of London to see the end of their own world and to a possible death. Not to mention that the trauma of what caused them to meet. He begged that it wasn’t trauma in her mind. But then again, she hadn’t really had the time to process anything.

The Doctor took a calming breath and knocked softly before peaking into her room, “Rose?”

“Yeah?” Her voice was groggy with sleep.

“You alright?”

She hummed.

“Sorry to wake you,” He rushed, “Was just wonderin’ if you ate anything real today? Outside of the jam toast.”

She hummed again, “Not really. Too late for that.”

He walked inside the room. Finding her buried underneath a large pink duvet and her own bed-head.

“’Course not, Rose.” He looked at her skeptically,”I’m guessin’ that you haven’t had much since you bought us chips. And it’s only due time until you’re body shows it.”

“’S that ‘possed to mean?” Her voice was somewhere between challenging and hurt. She moved some of the blanket out of the way to get a better view of him.

He glanced around the room, “They teach you anything about the endocrine system anymore, Rose?”

She didn’t say anything. But she looked quite cute between the growing glare and bedhead.

“Just c’mon,” He gave her a goofy grin. Tempting her out of bed.

Which she climbed out of. But not without a full- which was becoming familiar- Tyler Glare and Sigh.


	2. Slipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor knew that this glittering, golden girl was beginning to make him feel something more again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during World War Three!

_Slipped under your tongue. Twisted into something else. "I trust you," maybe. Trust them to figure it out._

* * *

“If we could jus’ get out of here.”

He stood to the side, watching Rose search for something- anything- to try and escape through. His mind was bubbling with ideas, most of which were quickly thrown to the side. Useless or impossible. He didn’t want to try anything that would put her in danger. But he was desperate to save humanity.

Rose continued to pace. Striking annoyance through him. She was so sure that they would do something. So sure that he’d figure something out. She was full of trust and optimism. And as much as it has helped him, it becoming a growing annoyance. Because he was beginning to do anything for her. He’d destroy himself if it meant she was okay. But the thing about it was that he didn’t want to disappointed her. Find her using a familiar glare in a way that echoed more than just inconvenience or annoyance. He’d come to the conclusion that Jackie Tyler wouldn’t let him do the only plan he could offer. He wasn’t sure if he’d let himself do it either.

He mumbled at first, “There’s a way out.”

Her “what” made him glare towards the sky. Cursing whatever was controlling fate. Mad over the fact that it wasn’t him. Over the fact that he was so held back on saving an entire world because of some human.

“There’s always been a way out.”

“Then why don’t we use it?”

Her words cut through him. Making him want to spill out every little reason why he didn’t want to use it. So he rushed forward, gripping chairs with white knuckles and hoping Jackie would resemble his lack of sense.

“Because I can’t guarantee your daughter will be safe.”

Something soothed him as Jackie’s voice crackled through the speaker, “Don’t you dare. Whatever it is- don’t you dare.”

He could feel Rose’s glare already. She knew what he was doing. And his mind swung between senseless and hyper-aware. So unsure of what to choose. She must’ve really started to get to him. Because he was saying what he was thinking without hesitation now.

“That’s the thing. If I don’t dare then everyone dies.”

And she wasn’t just in the corner of his vision anymore. She was standing in front of him, sparkling with a serious expression and tone.

“Do it.”

Her trust was cracking through him. He knew that this wasn’t her disappointment, but his own. How was he supposed to sacrifice the only thing that kept him grounded? What kind of man would he become without her? These questions raced through his mind as he tried to find a phrase that would show something other than weakness.

“You don’t even know what it is- you’d just let me?”

His fear he was so desperate to hide rang true. She just stared at him. As if the question was obvious. And he stared back, terrified of what she'd say. But the looks and meanings intertwined. In such a way to seemingly create their own dimension. A personal and hidden spot for them to radiate clashing security and insecurity; to find solace in familiar and unfamiliar sacrifices; to hesitate rather than steam forward.

“Yeah.”

Waves of locked away emotions crashed over him. Jackie’s pleas were static in his mind. Rose. His beautiful and selfless Rose. So young and fragile yet wise and headstrong. Everything he didn’t realize he needed.

“She’s just a kid!”

“Do you think I don’t realize that?” His voice came out sharp and husky and full of panic.

He rambled. He found himself venting to the first mother who’d ever slapped him. Who held so much against him. He wondered if this would either show how deeply he cared for Rose, or just infuriate Jackie more. He didn't really care. He was just saying things to say them at this point.

And Rose interrupted him, “Then what are you waiting for?”

“I could save the world but lose you.”

His words seem to echo across the room and into their own little dimension. His hearts seemed to try and meld together as her expression softened in the slightest amount. Trying to become human. Or so it seemed. To go from living a century to one single life. Just for her. Because she was everything to him. He had all of space and time in the palm of his hand- and Rose Tyler stood so far above it. He could go anywhere, meet anyone, but he was sure that nothing would fill him with comfort like a nineteen year old, human shop-girl. Who felt so wrong yet so right. Who he only met because of her shouting. Someone he knew he needed to save. Someone he knew he needed to keep saving. Because a hidden meaning lingered in his words. As if they weren’t exposing a side of him that he never planned on showing already. Something he wasn’t sure he could translate.

And as they stared at each other, she glanced to the ground and offered it a secret grin. He knew he was falling in way too deep. The Doctor was so sure that this glittering, golden girl was beginning to make him feel something more again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr: goldenbadwolf


	3. Soft Sigh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And rather than fear or disgust, it’s concern that laces her voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after Dalek!
> 
> And heads up, there's some angsty stuff in this.

_With a soft sigh. Past Exhaustion and frustration and despair, like it's the only good thing left. Sometime it is._

* * *

The TARDIS tucked Rose’s room away much farther than it had been before. He might’ve suggested it to her when Rose decided that Adam was to come with them. Jealousy seemed to be growing with his now paranoid emotions.

The final dalek had died feeling something. Feeling human. Maybe that’s what she did. Made the last of their kind feel something glorious again. He certainly believed so. Could prove that it’s true if he really wanted to.

But it was the equivalent to 2:44 A.M. in Rose’s mind. The Doctor had been pacing the halls for the last half an hour. Memories of the time war as well as Rose’s guilt for not making it in time kept him from focusing on one task. He should be working on the TARDIS. Not breathing heavily and clenching fists. The mix of the two thoughts infuriated him. Made his chest expand with heat and veins rush with red, hot anger. His temper was getting the best of him. And he didn’t know how to cope.

He was standing in front of Rose’s door. Rage still boiling but fear began to linger with it. Should he go in? Let her see him like this? Like a man that he once was? So full of hate that he loses control of himself? He needs to. Some part of him knows that, at the very least. His body moves automatically. Fear and anger ricochet in his chest as he feels himself lose the small part of self-control that he had left. The TARDIS sends him waves of comfort as he steps in the room.

He doesn’t say anything. Just stands there. And she wakes up slowly, head slowly peaking from under the pink duvet. Hair in the way of curious eyes. Exhaustion was clear in her movements. So slow. They were so slow that they warped in his vision. Which was beginning to grow black. The moment she realizes he’s there, she sits up.  
He doesn’t see her anymore. He just hears the ruffle of bed sheets and begs that she understands what is happening to him. That her impulse is the right one. Not that he knows what he needs, anyway.

And rather than fear or disgust, it’s concern that laces her voice.

“Doctor?”

He can’t move. The anger that was once guiding him crushes to guilt. He falls on his knees. Head falls into his hands. He’s breaking down and is trying so hard to hide it. Horrific images flash before unseeing eyes. He isn’t sure why, but he can’t block any of it.

Not the images of old family and friends dying. Not Rose looking at him- her facade of confidence failing to fear. A red-grass planet falling apart at his choice. Rose staring death down without hesitation. His nerves begin to burn with each new scene. He feels himself cry out. His body failing and regenerating as a laser pierced through him. Rose clinging onto him for dear life. The indescribable burn of radiation energy. The indescribable cold of seeing Rose cry. Gallifrayians calling for the Time Lords. Rose calling his name.

And there’s a warm hand on his shoulder. The vibrations of a voice drift to him. But he can’t hear what the words are. But they are so different from what terrible screams he hears. He knows it’s a soft and secure voice. Words probably under the same description. Another hand grabs his own. It squeezes slightly, letting him figure out what feeling is real and which is fake. The phantom cuts are rugged and unforgiving. But he grips back. Letting a soft and delicate hand show him where to go. Letting him pull himself out of his mind.

He lost his sense of time the moment he realized he was at her door. He has no idea how long it’s been. It makes him shiver- the irony. All he knows is that he wakes up with his head in Rose’s lap. Her breath tickling his ear as she offers him words of comfort. The feeling of her hand running up and down his arm. His entire body quivering. He hates it. But he needs it. He needs her. To show him that he’s no devil or any kind of god at all.

He sits up slowly. And turns to see brown eyes filled with concern. So much so that tears run down her own cheeks. He cups her cheek and leans to where their foreheads are touching. He feels waves of sympathy crash from her to him. Something beginning to ignite within her own head.

And she kisses him.

It’s soft and gentle and carries so much hesitation. It’s the opposite of everything he’s feeling but it’s everything he could ever want in this moment. Every essence of his Rose Tyler and what she is to him. So sweet and pure and sure that it’s the right thing. Even if it’s not her confidence in the action.

He kisses her back.

But it isn’t the same way. It’s bold and fearless and reckless. But she keeps up. Messy wet noises and breaths fill their ears. She sighs and he becomes desperate for more contact. He pulls her forward with a rough grip. She lets teeth knock together as she closes the small gap between them. Chest to chest. And they pause. Back in their little dimension. Only this time it’s physical. He feels her heart racing- can practically hear it. She can feel the two of his. Changing from an anxious beat to satisfied.  
He leans back. Gripping her hips and urging her to do the same. His hand cups her cheek again and this time he traces her lips. She presses a kiss to his thumb and touches her forehead to his once again. He feels her breath cascade down his face. His grip is still tight. Bruising tight. Afraid to let go and find himself someplace else. Somewhere without her. She shakes her head and giggles slightly. He looks through his eyelashes to see her beaming. And there’s nothing holding him back. It still only escapes as a husk whisper.

“I love you.”

She sighs and kisses him again. Short and gentle. Before standing and pulling him off the floor with her and leading him to her bed. Pushing off his leather jacket before climbing in herself, holding the blanket so he can follow suit. He’s terrified he said the wrong thing. That it’s the wrong time. But he gets in the bed anyways. He feels so human. So simple yet so scared. And as they get comfortable, she lays her head on his chest. And makes his hearts beat just a little faster as she mumbles two words that might as well be as sure as his three.

“My Doctor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rly love this chapter. Something about it just satisfies me. Hope it does the same to you.
> 
> Find me on tumblr: Goldenbadwolf


	4. A Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So full of light and happy color, full of dancing and laughter, full of the one being he was so glad to need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Post The Long Game!
> 
> here's some fluff to make up for the last chapter of angst.
> 
> (there are some drug references by the way)

_With a hand on their shoulder, a song on your lips, or a carton of their favorite ice cream in the freezer._

* * *

They were laughing hysterically. He was lying back on the metal grating of the console room and she was sitting in the jump seat. Holding a various candies from an entertainment moon that she convinced him to take her to. Said it was a day off from saving worlds and dealing with ugly creatures. He added careless apes to her list. Though they couldn’t avoid crowds of tourists, majority of which were the stupid apes he wished to avoid.

It was the first trip in a while in which they didn’t have their dangerous fun. Leaving the Doctor without his worry and guilt as they stepped back onto the TARDIS, and Rose with a beaming smile as she kept him company while he worked. They talked of the rides that would’ve been considered impossible to design in Rose’s time, of people who glared as the Doctor quipped with no other purpose than to make Rose giggle, and of the carnival foods that Rose simply fell in love with.

While he kept up the conversation and his tinkering, he thought about the two of them. They were most definitely closer. Something seemed to attach them. Like humanity’s idea of the red string. She didn’t let go of his hand if she could help it while on the moon. And while they stood in line and he rattled off facts of the engineering of the ride, she rested her head on his shoulder. And pulled him close to where they were hip to hip. He let himself sneak in chaste kisses and soft words when they were in their own little world. Despite being surrounded by a hoard of familiar and new beings.

After she’d decided that she found her new favorite food, they found a buffet. Just outside of the coaster park. She laughed and he rolled his eyes as she ate. Rambling on about her last phone call with her mother as if they weren't centuries in the future and parsecs away from Earth. She was so human sometimes. Well, most of the time. Especially when she managed to convince him- not that she really needed to -to barter for a pack of samples that would take them weeks to go through. Rose had been tasting each one, telling him how they tasted and offering him the ones she found particularly terrible. (Even managing to sneak a pear flavored licorice in)

Which lead them to this moment. So light and careless. The Doctor knew it was fleeting but he didn’t care. He was with Rose. And everything about her was beautiful and made time slow to a near halt. He couldn’t control his laughter. He could feel his heart beats slow and eyes begin to dilate, knowing there was an ingredient in the candy that sent his body to a high. But he didn’t care. Because Rose was laughing. Just as hard as him. But rather than it being caused by an inability to get a coherent thought out, do more than mumble, or be fixated by oversaturated colors he was desperate to describe- it was because of him. Of all that he was trying to do for her. Return the favor of reviews and experiences.

He was practically mindless. So lost in what he was trying to say that he wasn’t sure if he was speaking English or Gallifrayian. So many hues and creatures danced around the room and her laughter was music to his ears that kept with the tempo of his heart. He kept on going on and on about what he was seeing. Describing it with comparisons that she wouldn’t understand. Or, at least, be able to visualize herself.

Hallucinogens and telepathy really blended together in strange ways. Especially in a Time Lord’s body.

It was no bad trip though. Not with Rose leading him through it. Her soft features reverberated in his mind as he glanced back at her. Watching the glittering pinks and yellows expand away from her and drift around the coral structures. It felt like forever before they led his eyes back to her face.

She wasn’t laughing anymore, he realized. Just giving him that fantastic beam of hers that made his hearts swell and his knees weak. And he realized that he wasn’t talking anymore either.

He decided that all of what he was seeing was their little dimension. So full of light and happy color, full of dancing and laughter, full of the one being he was so glad to need.

He didn’t say it in her native this time.

He watched the circles form and swirl from his mouth. Like smoke rings. And back around her ears. He felt it was much more poetic and sincere. So much more certain. Frankly, more beautiful. The few times he spoke in Gallifrayian around her, she described it as a mesh between classical music and 70's blues. It was music to her. Swirling and lingering in her senses. Offering her an archaic feeling. He watched closely as her face shifted to curiosity and then realization. And she rolled her eyes but his favorite grin came back to view.

All he managed to hear was his favorite soft voice saying, “My Doctor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this really went a way i didn't expect but i think they needed it.
> 
> find me on tumblr: goldenbadwolf


End file.
